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Why Misery Is So Addictive and How To Free Yourself ‎"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."
 -(Trina Paulus) I love that quote! It speaks to our willingness to let go of old patterns and choose a new higher way of being. This is not an easy task since our negative patterns are so highly addictive. Why is that so? Why do we get so stuck in our dramas and misery?

The answer may surprise you. A recent article, “Anatomy of a Tear Jerker” by Michaeleen Doucleff, sheds light on this with research that shows something astounding: sad songs stimulate dopamine, the pleasure hormone! “The results suggest that the more emotions a song provokes – whether depressing or uplifting – the more we crave the song.” Intrigued, I researched this further and found that dopamine, the hormone most responsible for addiction, is triggered by things that excite us, such as food and sex…but also drama and pain, making us crave and recreate them over and over again.

That explains why many people hang on for dear life to their misery, their sad stories, their anger and resentment. I spent a good part of my life stuck in the mire of misery about feeling alone in the world…until I had a life-changing epiphany twelve years ago during my first week of dating Tom, who would become my husband. We were massaging each other’s feet, (my very favorite thing!) and I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have this man in my life on a permanent basis.” Just then a Bonnie Rait song began playing on the radio and I was singing along with it, “I can’t make you love me if you don’t.” That song activated the neural pathways of my old familiar story that said, “I will always be alone.

He won’t want me. I can’t have this.” I began slipping into the sweet melancholy of that story, pulled by the addictive lure of deep sorrow. But then, in a sudden splash of invigorating awareness, I stopped myself and thought, “Wait a minute - why can't I have this? It's just habit programming. If you have any sort of questions concerning where and the best ways to make use of kierowca ce denmark, you could contact us at the internet site. I'm just as lovable as the next person. I can have this! I want this!” It was a butterfly moment – a moment of clear awareness that I wanted love in my life so much that I was willing to give up being a caterpillar; I was willing to give up my addiction to my sweet sad miserable story.